When we really feel seen, heard, and validated by others, our nervous system can recalibrate, shifting from a state of hyperarousal or hypoarousal in direction of a balanced state. Well, we’re going to talk lots about criticism and defensiveness. My partner has sometimes been extremely defensive largely based on the criticism that he acquired as a toddler and a number of the trauma he has experienced as a baby. And so, in this episode I discuss with Elizabeth about how do you deal with that defensiveness? How do you help your spouse or associate shift back from seeing you as a risk or as pondering they’re bad to feeling emotionally safe again so that they can hear you and empathize with what you’re saying?
And I suppose all of us have had those experiences where it’s like, why did that dialog go very well and then this other conversation didn’t? We decide up on very subtle cues that someone is dysregulated in their physique. So, if I’m coming to you and I’m actually upset about something and I’m not in a position to take deep breaths and gradual my heart price you will then feel that and react to me.
The autonomic nervous system performs an important role in co-regulation, serving to us attune to others’ emotional states and vice versa. A study by James Coan and colleagues measured the mind activity of married girls after being advised they’d receive an electrical shock. FMRI results demonstrated that the hypothalamus, the body’s internal regulator, lit up in response when the women were waiting for the shock alone. When they were holding the hand of a stranger, such brain exercise reduced.
Any information printed on this website or by this model is not supposed as a substitute for medical advice. Always seek the assistance of a certified well being or mental well being professional with any questions or concerns about your psychological health. Try to stay face-to-face during this course of, offering calm, steady eye contact. Pay attention to what the other person is comfortable with and provides them some bodily house if wanted. Put your self physically near the individual, when you can. It may be sitting subsequent to them, or hugging them, if that’s appropriate.
But studying to manage our own nervous techniques and co-regulate with our companion can have unimaginable benefits. Sometimes it helps to map it out with a associate so that everyone is conscious of what it looks like. Do we really feel like we are about to go for our partner’s achilles heel simply to ‘win’ the argument? Or, do you tune out fully and cease hearing and seeing what is happening round you? Notice the signs that you’ve left a productive area for conversation and are just escalating up in the direction of a point of no return.
By dealing with your partner and remaining of their gaze, you presumably can more readily attune to your partner’s non-verbal cues and ask questions for readability, quite than from a stance of assumption. Letting your associate know they are not alone of their emotions by expressing gratitude for sharing their internal world creates a bond of belief and safety. Often companions will try to “fix” one another’s adverse feelings for concern that it will make things worse when analysis shows the alternative. If the listener can remain calm and never anxiously repair the problem, they are also modeling for the opposite partner’s co regulation. Gottman discusses methods to turn into an lively listener, together with approaching the role as a listener with understanding, non defensive listening, and empathy, all of which support co regulation. In intimate relationships, challenges to manage can seem extra prevalent when unresolved trauma goes unaddressed.
Their calm respiratory, grounded posture, and regular voice high quality communicate security at a degree deeper than words. Touch is amongst the most common tools for co-regulation… But it’s not one-size-fits-all.For some, bodily touch is grounding and reassuring.
Your relationships and your interactions together with your community impression on your emotions, ideas, and physiology in both nourishing or depleting ways. One of the most influential things on your stress ranges are the individuals around you. Check out the Great Language Partner Program — your roadmap for child-led, neuroaffirming assist. When a baby stops seeing you as someone making an attempt to fix them…They begin to belief you. Whether you are a therapist, teacher, or parent—these practices work over time, not just in meltdowns.
Sit face-to-face with a partner and give consideration to synchronizing your respiration. Inhale and exhale collectively, finding a shared rhythm. This apply can create a deep sense of connection and calm, aligning your emotional states.
When one companion wants closeness, and the other wants distance to really feel okay. If your partner’s emotional wave is pulling you under too, it’s okay (and necessary) to take a step back, breathe, and ground yourself first. Physical TouchA simple gesture like holding palms, hugging, or a gentle back rub can launch oxytocin, decreasing stress and fostering connection.
One of the most useful things you’ll have the ability to find out about co-regulation is that people have completely different nervous system kinds. Understanding your associate’s natural patterns helps you present better help. Think a couple of time when you have been upset and your companion just held you with out trying to repair anything. If you felt better afterward, you experienced co-regulation. Your companion’s calm nervous system helped regulate yours.
These aren’t just techniques – they’re methods of being collectively that create the foundation for every thing else you want in your partnership. These aren’t relationship problems or personal failures – they’re nervous system responses to not feeling secure sufficient for true vulnerability. Think concerning the final time you tried to connect along with your associate when one of you was confused or activated. Even should you both wanted connection, something felt off, right? That’s as a end result of nervous methods that are in protection mode simply cannot entry the state required for real intimacy.
Shifting from the state of longing to belonging improves emotional and physical health. Not only does this enhance your emotional health, nevertheless it additionally supports recovery and restore of the brain and body. It happens by way of the vagus nerve, highly effective chemical processes, particularly the release of the hormone oxytocin, and modifications to the immune system that cut back irritation. Kids don’t regulate as a result of we give them strategies.They regulate because they really feel safe with us.
When you are calm, you can co-regulate your partner’s nervous system, providing them the emotional grounding they need. Additionally, avoidant companions worry their weak feelings won’t be obtained and that if their companion was to get emotionally close, they wouldn’t measure up and thus, co-regulation is well… averted. About 80% of couples find themselves in this dance of pursue/withdraw. Simply put, co-regulation is the power for our nervous system to work together and reply to another’s nervous system.
In wholesome relationships you take care of each other’s triggers and defend one another as a team, quite than relying solely on self regulation. And it starts not with fixing your associate however with understanding your nervous system, and studying how to regulate with each other instead of towards each other. The dynamic plays out in a standard attachment-related situation.
The critical component of this exercise is the flexibility to express ALL feelings, even the unfavorable ones. Negative feelings are wholesome to specific to your companion and, over time, will lead to elevated attunement but enhance general psychological well being for the person. The capacity to emotionally attune and coregulate is deeply rooted in our biology and is required for many species’ survival. During infancy, caregivers demonstrate emotional attunement once they pay shut attention and respond to younger childrens’ shifting physical and emotional state whereas having the flexibility to simultaneously self regulate. Coregulation helps couples create a safe haven where each partners really feel seen, heard, and valued—a space the place love can really thrive. Coregulation is the tender change of presence, the silent language of empathy, and the unwavering assist that keeps us grounded amidst life’s chaos.
Left unchecked they’ll lead to anxiety, depression, PTSD, cardiovascular disease, chronic pain, irritation, compromised immune functioning or intestine disorders. Belonging and nourishing relationships where you are feeling actually seen, felt, and heard are maybe the biggest influences on the quality and size of your life. If you’ve ever wondered how to assist a baby regulate—not just within the moment, but over time—this publish is for you. Emotional modeling is about naming your personal feelings and sharing how they will affect your relationships. This would possibly mean talking about your anger with others and reflecting on how the emotion comes from frustrations at work.
When we’re present and aware we keep away from missing that our companion is definitely turning toward us and making a bid for emotional connection. We live in a time of continual stress, digital disconnection, and nervous techniques on high alert. If we want to improve our relationships, we can’t hold treating emotional regulation like a luxury.
When trauma retains our autonomic nervous system in constant survival mode, it’s like having an alarm system that’s all the time on. This state could make it tough to kind secure and secure connections, as we’re perpetually prepared for danger. One powerful method is to follow co-regulation workout routines before intimate connection, creating a neurobiological basis of security that allows for deeper give up and presence. The part of co-regulation that can get difficult for some people is balancing the road between co-regulation and co-dependent behaviors.
Talk therapy alone often isn’t sufficient to resolve deep-seated patterns of concern, shutdown, or hypervigilance. Somatic therapies help us entry and launch the survival power trapped in our tissues and nerves. Sign up for Julie’s month-to-month e-newsletter for insights on relationship expertise, attachment concept, and emotional connection to construct lasting relationships.
By incorporating internal baby work exercises into your life, you can begin to handle unmet wants and create a way of safety and belonging within yourself. Have you ever noticed how your partner’s calm presence can soothe you during stressful moments? Therapists, companions, pals, and even pets can supply co-regulation. The key is presence, attunement, and nervous system security. In therapy, co-regulation is a foundational part of the work.
For instance, let’s say you’re experiencing a panic assault whereas in public. A good partner will sit with you, respiratory through it as you calm your nervous system and loosen up again into your body. This is a practice referred to as “co-regulation,” and it might possibly improve both your relationships and your coronary heart health. Co-regulation is when somebody feeling relaxed can basically “share their calm” with someone experiencing intense negative emotions. It’s a warm, responsive, and empathetic way to support and even “coach” individuals through onerous emotions to help them regulate their nervous system.
Many adults had been by no means taught tips on how to regulate their very own feelings, not to mention coregulate with a partner. Build these expertise individually by working on meditation, breathing methods and anything that helps you scale back stress. Transform your relationship with anxiousness utilizing this free complete workbook packed with proven techniques for emotional regulation and stress management. Download now and start your journey to lasting calm. With the proper instruments and help, your relationship can turn into a spot of security, connection, and deep intimacy again. At Rezak Therapy, we’re here that can assist you align with your most authentic self.
Self-regulation is the method of recognizing and managing your individual feelings, so you don’t turn out to be reactive or overwhelmed. If a relationship is unable to co-regulate, it may become codependent. This may be harmful to both partners and can lead to feelings of resentment, anger, frustration and relational failure. Therefore, it is essential to work on growing methods together for co-regulation in order to maintain a wholesome and thriving relationships. Humans are pack animals, and we aren’t meant to reside in isolation.
And as our marriage progressed, I realized how extra to have the flexibility to get to the point where I was capable of go away the wedding, however it took so much. And so a few of this, I’m getting better at right now, proper now. So I perceive that it would feel challenging, it would feel very weak. And I also simply wish to make certain you know, I’m not portray myself as a victim, it’s more I understand the methods and patterns that we get into. Practice attempting various things that help your nervous system calm down, assist anyone else’s nervous system settle down.
Babies quickly study that they can smile and “talk” back. Co-regulation is also at play when a small baby falls they usually look to their mother and father to know the way to react. If the father or mother comforts without panic, youngsters usually move on more shortly. It is thru this course of that youngsters additionally learn to self-regulate, to self-soothe, and to cope.
They are so important – they keep us in tune with our inner experience. I am getting labored up as a end result of this feels important! ’ So whereas I would by no means let you know to disregard your feelings, it’s wholesome to grasp them and decide how you need to react outwardly with them. Learn to set clear boundaries that replicate your values and needs, whereas maintaining the connections you need in your life. Discover ways to strengthen energetic boundaries and internalize a feeling of figuring out what you want and what you’re keen to accept in your relationships. In contrast, if somebody is in an argument with a partner and their temperature rises or their coronary heart starts pounding, they are experiencing a struggle or flight response.
The vagus nerve plays a critical role in bridging emotions and bodily features. Through constructive social cues, similar to warm facial expressions and soothing tones, we are ready to activate the vagus nerve to create emotional stability and safety. When you can focus on your triggers together with your associate, you permit for you both to be in each other’s care.
We believe that coregulation is a cornerstone of a wholesome partnership, and we’re right here to assist you strengthen this important aspect of your marriage. Through this sacred dance, couples learn the art of mutual empowerment—turning vulnerabilities into bridges of connection and honoring feelings as sacred messengers. It’s in these shared moments of resonance that the transformative energy of collective healing emerges, revealing the unbelievable potential of two interconnected souls.
Join us this week as we discuss what happens after we be taught to co-regulate with our partners and why doing so can help us join and empathize extra simply with them. Learn why we need to regulate our nervous systems before we can ever hope to alter our behavior, and the way we can work together with our companions to feel emotionally protected once more. When we don’t really feel secure, the physique automatically takes steps to prepare us to fight or run away, pumping blood to the extremities to run or battle, increasing blood strain and coronary heart rate. Some individuals go right into a “freeze state” the place they dissociate, or have hassle listening to or pondering clearly. This won’t sound useful in a struggle, however the freeze state is definitely the body’s means of getting ready for bodily harm corresponding to being eaten by a lion. As far as our nervous system is concerned, we are getting ready for a possible life threat, even when it’s actually a conversation about the dishes.
Yeah, life gets bonkers, however you and your nervous system are pretty good at managing that chaos when it pops up and remembering that you’re safe and supported and that issues will (usually) work out. Co-regulation is a wholesome developmental process that helps your child integrate all emotions and situations, including people who deliver misery. As a parent, you can play a key part in this course of using strategies such as emotional regulation and intelligence.
And, positive, co-regulation is a hot subject when raising kids, because kids aren’t born understanding how to regulate their very own emotions so they need their parents to model how. But the concept of co-regulation has recently damaged out of parenting circles and into more mainstream psychological well being convos. Turns out, grownups need some assist managing their feelings too. Only by way of a regulated state of our nervous system can we offer co-regulation to others. This connection arises from a state of safety, calm and kindness. When you’re hypervigilant to risk one of the first locations it reveals up is in your private and skilled connections.
One companion, feeling a breach of closeness, pulls for contact to reestablish their emotional footing. Meanwhile, the opposite experiences impingement and pushes for more autonomy. Both people have a blind spot for how their pursuit of self-regulation may inadvertently dysregulate their partner.
By working together to handle emotions and build resilience, individuals can create a extra constructive and supportive environment that promotes emotional health and well-being. Co-regulation is the powerful, supportive means of using related interactions to assist others regulate their nervous systems. It is crucial for building self-regulation abilities and emotional resilience, particularly for clients facing trauma or attachment challenges.
So you probably can think about the effect all of this nervous system exercise and hormones surging across the physique has on a dialog together with your partner if certainly one of you feels emotionally unsafe. Co-regulation is the method by which our interactions with others help regulate our emotional and physiological states. It’s a mutual exchange of comfort, help, and understanding. I educate shoppers the way to combine these abilities into their on a regular basis lives, to enable them to expertise more satisfying, fulfilling relationships each out and in of the bedroom. It all begins with a deep connection to one’s personal body, mind and spirit. At Born to Be Wild Lifestyle, I consider that relationships thrive when companions could be both a safe base and a source of excitement for each other.
Whether you’re navigating betrayal, persistent stress, or just the wear-and-tear of day by day life, your body is part of your relationship. And when both partners discover methods to co-regulate, the relationship turns into a place of emotional restoration—not just reaction. While studying to be a better listener could appear to be an evident approach, studying the means to be an energetic listener involves ability, downside solving, and follow. Dr. John Gottman, the creator of the Gottman Institute, discusses the significance of getting weekly check-ins along with your associate to permit one another to precise all emotions.
Regulation is a skill—and like several talent, it grows with apply. Whether you’re studying to calm your individual body or provide presence to someone else, every effort makes a distinction. You’re constructing a foundation of trust, safety, and emotional intimacy that helps both you and your relationships. Co-regulation is a mutual act, an change of calm that occurs between two folks. Co-regulation doesn’t imply pretending to exist in a state of calm on an everyday basis or by no means getting angry.
A trauma-informed therapist pays attention to their very own regulation in session. They offer a consistent calm presence that helps purchasers feel safe enough to explore painful experiences. These patterns have an effect on how we give and receive co-regulation. If we’ve learned that others are unsafe or unreliable, we may have trouble trusting connection. This can get in the greatest way of satisfying a deep craving for it. In trauma therapy, we are in a position to achieve what known as earned secure attachment.
And so, if we’re going to extra evenly distribute family income and work, we’ve to essentially work to distribute the mental load. And mental load causes tons of stress and resentment, and finally battle. But ultimately we’ll be supporting people every step of the greatest way alongside their relationship path. And I’m also a mother and I would say that that’s my greatest job out of all of these items that I do, most annoying job that I even have. Hi, I’m Allison and I’m a Marriage and Family Therapist.
Then, provide them a safe space to precise their feelings. Co-regulation is a course of in which one particular person makes use of their very own calm emotional and bodily state to help another person regulate their feelings when they’re upset. Your spouse could not yet have efficient instruments for managing their emotional responses, so suggesting healthy coping mechanisms may help them construct emotional resilience. These two skills are important for emotional well-being, healthy relationships, and secure attachment.
And then she got remarried, and it was pretty dysfunctional for fairly some time. So for me, I grew up in an area that was fairly chaotic, emotionally, nervous system-wise. Now, my daughter, Finley, who simply turned one, it’s fascinating. For these of you who’ve been around children, that is what I mean about them learning the way to regulate by watching us. So we have plenty of stairs in our residence, and one of the set of stairs, they’re wider and they’re carpeted and she will get up and down actually easily, and so we now have not put a gate on the top of those stairs.
Anxiety therapy is certainly one of the commonest causes individuals come to remedy, and our professional therapists are ready that will help you overcome anxiety and reclaim your life. Yes, you presumably can swap therapists to a different supplier throughout the practice, or we will provide you a referral if most popular. But should you actually wish to get probably the most out of session, it may help to take a while to suppose about what you need from therapy. It helps to write down your objectives, questions you have or things that you just really feel are important to share. Recognizing the influence of your experiences, beliefs and perceptions will empower you to seek out and nurture connections which are really healing and supportive.
The people who remain in my life are those who understand that emotional labor ought to be shared, not placed completely on one person. Co-regulation refers to the organic and emotional calming that occurs in the presence of a regulated, caring other. When somebody meets us with grounded presence, our nervous systems can shift out of survival mode. We can move out of struggle, flight, or freeze and into a state of calm, connection, and security.
That stated, there are actions we can take to cue the method. Much like the way deep respiratory sends a message to your mind to settle down, there are issues you can do to send a similar message to another person’s physique. But self-regulation isn’t innate; it’s a set of abilities everybody should study. Developmentally, children are like automobiles with defective brakes, born with the capacity to expertise each shade of emotion but none of the tools to manage them. As adults, we apply self-regulation all the time in interactions with our co-workers, associates, and companions. It’s not always straightforward, however we all know that it’s more effective and productive to speak about what’s upsetting us somewhat than to simply react.
Learn to recognize your partner’s nervous system states and what they want for regulation. Some individuals want motion and expression when dysregulated, whereas others want stillness and quiet. Understanding these variations prevents you from providing the wrong type of support. Developing strong co-regulation talents begins with cultivating your personal nervous system awareness and regulation skills. You can not provide what you don’t possess, so building your own foundation of security and groundedness turns into important. When we engage in co-regulation, we’re not simply offering consolation or support.
It helps you manage stress, anxiety, and emotional misery by mirroring the calming, supportive nervous system of others. This article is the final word co-regulation information for grown-ups. The Gottman Institute is a research-based organization based by Drs. John and Julie Gottman centered on serving to couples build sturdy and wholesome relationships.
And if I don’t, I need to attempt this extra so that my companion has house to truly receive my complaints. Next month I would possibly say to my husband, “I love usually doing the beach trip, but I can’t do magic within the seashore journey, can you please do all the reservations? I’m so tired.” So, being able to negotiate this often, however it largely falls into what can you do and what feels fair. And with the flexibility to dance round those two issues collectively. They possibly considered one of them had a change in the way that their work appeared.
Co-regulation is the method by which we regulate our emotions in response to the feelings of others. Because we’re fundamentally social beings, the nervous system is designed to be activated by the presence of others and for this reason it’s necessary to monitor your personal actions and the actions of those around you. Together, we’ll develop customized practices that honor your distinctive nervous techniques and relationship objectives. Synchronized respiration helps create a shared rhythm between companions, which research reveals may help regulate coronary heart fee variability—a key marker of nervous system health. One of the best approaches is to focus on your own self-regulating methods.
Breathwork is another approach that can be utilized anytime and anywhere, referring to intentional use of the breath to succeed in a state of calm. Though many individuals use breathwork individually, it can also be used together with your associate present. Find a cushty place to take a seat with your companion; this could be on a mattress or comfy couch. Inhaling via your nose and exhaling through your mouth, take deep breaths collectively (inhaling for 4 counts, holding the breath for 4 counts, and slowly exhaling for 4 counts).
Working with a therapist to identify the basis cause will improve your quality of life and the standard of your relationships. Infographic offers practical strategies for suppliers, mother and father and caregivers to co-regulate with clients, children or anybody in want. Download and display this poster to share useful techniques or educate your shoppers, staff or college students — best for clinics, schools, or offices. Our our bodies and brains can respond to others without us even realizing it.
“I want to be right here for you, but I also must deal with myself. Let’s take a break and are available back to this after we’re both calmer.” Sign up together with your email address to obtain small love notes on health, wellness, Ayurveda Trauma Counseling serves as a priceless software for individuals fighting signs related to PTSD
Having a safe attachment to your companion is simply as necessary as having a secure attachment to your mother and father whenever you had been a baby. This signifies that at applicable instances, we will want to have the ability to depend upon our companion for emotional assist. This is wholesome and it doesn’t imply that such a relationship is co-dependent.
But human beings are fascinating in the fact that they both dysregulate with each other or coregulate with one another. And if I was dysregulated in my body, our interplay could be completely different than it’s at this moment. You would really feel it somehow and you would stroll away from our interaction saying, “That was sort of bizarre.
But there also could be intervals of time and I suppose you gave an excellent example of this, where you not solely like it, you love it. But you can’t do it anymore and also you can’t do it as a end result of you’re drained, you’re sick, work has modified, your physique has modified, any of that. This podcast is for ladies who need to feel more vibrant, happy, aligned, and alive. You’ll gain the emotional, physical, and non secular tools you have to get your sparkle back and be positive that despair, nervousness, and struggle do not rule your life. When we’re seen, heard, and understood, we feel protected, and this enables us to specific and process our own emotions with others.
As your abilities enhance it’ll turn into easier to manage relationship stress and work on co-regulating for couples. Are you prepared to revive connection and heal together? Contact us to study more about our couples’ remedy and somatic healing periods. Reach out today to schedule a free 20-minute session with our team of top-rated therapists or coaches to debate whether or not Embodied Wellness and Recovery could be a perfect fit for your therapeutic journey.
This rhythmic exercise helps maintain you in an already emotionally regulated state. While most individuals are acquainted with broad emotions like anger or unhappiness, many still miss the subtler emotions that include big feelings, similar to disgrace, grief, frustration, and vulnerability. Learning to recognize and become snug sharing these feelings is a vital co-regulation approach that can help teens and fogeys discover ways to regulate and work by way of emotions. Co-regulation promotes good psychological health in kids.
This does not imply that these needs should not be supplied for by their companion typically as well. Relationships are now not primarily based on the must be safe and financially secure. Individuals, particularly ladies, are more thinking about different attributes of a pair, similar to true intimacy. Remember, you are both on this journey collectively, and it’s okay to hunt help when needed. With effort and time, you probably can build a extra resilient, emotionally balanced, and related relationship. While supporting your spouse is essential, it’s equally necessary to set boundaries to protect your emotional well-being.
Many of us grew up in properties the place stress was dealt with with silence, blame, or explosions. There are many different methods you can co-regulate along with your vital different. However, an important half is knowing their needs (and your own) in these stressful moments. And one thing I’ve had to own is as much as I wish to inform my husband he’s defensive, I’m critical.
Check out this Reset weblog submit on enhancing your life with mindfulness. Your partner talks quicker, will get defensive, then storms out. And identical to that, you’re back in the same exhausting loop you swore you’d stop falling into. Russell B. Lemle, Ph.D., is a Senior Policy Analyst for the Veterans Healthcare Policy Institute. In his private practice, he solely sees couples.
I suppose we all try to be impartial and self-sufficient human beings. However, sometimes we do neglect that it is in our nature to be round other individuals and to depend on our family members in healthy methods. There is a lot of talk about relationships all over the place on social media. Many speak in regards to the significance of having a wholesome separation between your partner and your self. I agree with this to some extent, and let me share what I imply. In the face of emotional dysregulation, it’s essential to control your own emotional state.
This is very important for these therapeutic from trauma, nervousness, or chronic dysregulation. It’s to develop the capacity to remain related to ourselves and others, even in moments of stress. Avoid “Shame Spiraling”When your companion is distressed, you might really feel disgrace if you think you caused their ache or don’t know how to help. Shame spiraling shifts focus away out of your partner and leaves them feeling emotionally abandoned. While your emotions matter, save processing them for later to stay current and supportive.
In a romantic partnership, we can optimize each other at our best… or not. Couples are co-regulating much of the time, though they will not be aware of it. Co-regulation can create tremendous safety, however in troubled relationships, it could possibly additionally create a sense of hazard. Our inner systems are sending out messages to our partners’.
Having to do not overlook that you’ve obtained to pick up everything for meal prepping on Sunday, on Friday as a end result of on Saturday you’ve got a busy day and also you won’t be capable of do it. Having to do not forget that it’s your partner’s mother’s birthday and that you’ve obtained to ship the cardboard at present, that the lights have to be changed in the house as a end result of they’re about to exit. So, it’s all of this work that you’re doing in your head and it’s exhausting. And with the couples I work I truly have found that this is among the largest points that is causing relational distress in current times. You’re listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast.